Fear and Autographs

I gave a copy of my new book to my dear friend and mentor, author Jane Kirpatrick a couple months ago.  She thumbed through it's pages and read the acknowlegements in the back of the book while I put the finishing touches on dinner.  She walked into the kitchen and gently laid the book down on the counter and said, "I want it autographed please."   "Oh, ok," I replied.  "I don't have a pen."  The thought had never occured to me that she would want it signed.  "I do," she said, as she opened up her purse and pulled out a fancy ink pen and laid it on top of the book.  "I should have known you'd have one."  What do I write in a book for Jane Kirpatrick?  I thought.  I have known Jane for nearly 30 years, long before her first book "Homestead" but at that moment, I had celebrity-itis.  I looked at my mother who was sitting at the counter, she returned my look and smiled.  "Can I practice in your copy Momma?"  I asked quietly.  She slid her copy over in front of me.   I uncapped Jane's fancy pen and thought of all the books she had signed using this very pen, then I began to write in my mothers book.  The pen flowed across the page faster then my hand could move, like it had a mind of it's own.  My thinking fogged and lagged behind the pen as it formed the letters on the page.  I don't even remember what I wrote in my mom's book except the word "memories".  I remember that word because I mispelled it and had to correct it and it looked awful.  My hand shook and my normally decent penmanship looked like a grade-school boy's who'd rather be on recess then practice his cursive.   I looked at my mom and pointed at my mistake.  She smiled as she picked up her copy and held it lovely in her hands.
I signed Janes copy that day, but much later, after dinner.  I waited until I could think of someting heartfelt to say.  I don't think I mispelled any words that time but my hand still shook with nerves as I scribbled aross the page and wondered if Jane had felt this way the first time she autographed a book.  Since that day, I do a practice run on scrap paper to eliminate any mispelled words and to warm up my hand and my thoughts before I try writing them down.  Whatever works, right?